Posts Tagged ‘Chatbox Warriors’

What is the native language of Pokerstars?

Monday, February 16th, 2009

Observed in a chatbox discussion about people speaking FORIGN in the Pokerstars chatbox -

Mystery Player X: “yeah wtf they need to speak american”

Don’t get me started on Americans thinking that they own the internet, please. Not relevant here, anyway, because the native language of Pokerstars is… Manx!

So, for the benefit of all Pokerstars players, here’s a link to some useful Manx phrases. May I suggest that wherever possible, all Stars players attempt to communicate in this delightful Celtic language?

Useful Manx phrases

Cha nel un çhangey dy liooar rieau. Word.

*edit* More Manx resources for you:
The IOM Government’s Manx page
A list of useful links, including pronunciation samples and a rudimentary Manx – English dictionary
LearnManx.com

Railbird diss of the month

Friday, January 9th, 2009

I’m watching the Poker Hof on the final table of the 6k Guaranteed on Crypto at the moment… the table captain was reraised by a shortstack, and was forced to call with 74 offsuit (getting 5/2 on his money), and cracked AQ. The defeated shorty then turned the chatbox green, with a great deal of talk about AIDS and stabbing/raping people’s mothers (Crypto has to be the least classy of all sites), which eventually prompted one of the other players to utter -

“I’ve lost a green pen. Has anyone found it?”

I’m stealing that one.

*edit* More tales from the Crypto chatbox; early stages of the Super Series, with blinds at 15/30, and a player folds on the river to a nearly pot sized bet. He has 2150 chips left, but still feels compelled to type -

“why the fk does Will Hill rip me off all the time, I’m fking it off soon, poker stars hear we come”

Makes you wonder how he’d react to a bad beat, doesn’t it? I never fail to be amazed at just how unbelievably mental the players on Crypto sites are…

A long tilty ramble, and a vaguely funny chat-box incident.

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

Another shot at the $20k on Stars ends with me busting out in 250-somethingth with QQ v 44. With the exception of a crazy few minutes, I played excellent poker throughout, despite experiencing some low-level tilt thanks to a suckout-filled day. The first hour was great; I chipped up early on after getting my AA in preflop vs KK and 33 (yes, really, 33), and worked my stack well to keep among the chipleaders, but everything ground to a halt after the first break when I was moved to a table which was mostly comprised of smart, aggressive players who refused to lose. Seven of the eight opponents who I started playing with with were still there almost two hours later, and the blinds had moved from 75/150 to 1000/2000/100 with virtually no change in the number of chips at the table. And I was phenomenally card dead for the entire period. And while everyone to my right was playing solid aggressive poker, the two to my left were the weakest, tightest players on the planet, which meant that I barely get to see an unraised pot in late position for the duration. I couldn’t imagine a worse table.

I survived by defending my blind very aggressively, and the only two big pots I won were with 64 suited and 62 offsuit, both times by calling raises from the aggro squad and then check-pushing the unhelpful flop . That can often lead to disaster, but it was about the only option available to me; if it could have been avoided, it would have been. Despite my kamikaze blind defence, I still ended up getting whittled away, and when I finally caught a playable hand (ATs) in the BB towards the end of the third hour I decided to shove against the inevitable raise, even though I was fairly sure I was behind. (This is the bit which wasn’t excellent poker). I was fucked off, frankly, and had decided it was time to double up or go to bed. I was right, I was behind; AQs held up and I was left with less than a big blind in my stack.

I managed to triple up with 93 on the next hand, though, and a couple of judicious pushes later, I was back in the running, and better still, I finally got moved off the HELL TABLE. The relief was reinforced when I picked up pocket queens in my first big blind in my new seat, and doubled through some joker who tried to steal with 42 offsuit. This got me safely through the bubble, and into the third break, which is when the vaguely funny bit happened:

THE VAGUELY FUNNY BIT

Last hand of the hour, and a guy with less than an ante pushes from UTG. Another player calls from early position, one more calls from the button, and the BB pushes all-in for about 5 big blinds. Both limpers call.

The flop comes king-rag-rag, the first limper bets out, the button folds, and we see the cards. The limper has KQ, the big blind AT, but the turn and river bring a Q and a J to give the BB a straight, and the other guy starts in with the mouthy stuff. “This fucking site, how can this shit happen all day long, rigged Jokerstars bullshit”… etc. And being bored, I type “AT v KQ, all-in preflop, it’s a seven card game, get a grip”, and go off to make some coffee.

When I come back, there’s a ton of abuse from Mr. KQ aimed at me. His last comment is “Ah, you’re from London, no wonder you’re such a donkey”. To which Mr. AT replied -

“No, I’m from New Jersey, same as you. Geometry obviously isn’t your strong point”.

—————————————–

Look, it’s been a rough day, alright? I’d probably find a BBC Three comedy show funny right now.

(In good news, my losses on the tables were offset by some astute bets on the football, so I’m actually slightly up on the day financially. This has to be weighed against the numerous hours of teeth-grinding poker frustration, sadly).